Ok, since you insist.

As some of you may or may not know, my boyfriend was recently hired as a deckhand on a cruise ship. He left last Tuesday, September second. We only had one week's notice to get everything prepared, so the week before he left we were running around like mad men. We made two trips to Boston to get his passport, and multiple trips to Warren, where the company is based. On the occasion I wish to speak of, he had to go in for some training videos, and we had been told it was just going to be about an hour. So he went in, and I walked to Main St., to see the shops. I found this lovely little coffee shop. I went in, ordered a large coffee, and sat down with my non-fiction book on whaling. I sat there until about quarter of the hour, and decided that I should walk back so that I would be at the car when he got out. I arrived back at the car, and resumed reading my book. It'd now been an hour and a half. Then two hours. Then two and a half hours. This entire time I had to use the restroom, but didn't want to leave in case he was almost done. Coffee has this effect on me... You may or may not know, but it is in fact a stimulant. The third hour rolled around, and he was no where in sight, and I was in the middle of my very own emergency. I had to find a bathroom NOW, or use that person's lawn. And we're not talking about a little emergency that would just water the grass, and no one would be the wiser. So I weighed my options. I knew I couldn't walk all the way back to Main St. I knew I couldn't use that person's lawn. And, it also became clear that my boyfriend had taken the car keys with him, so I couldn't drive to a bathroom. Panic sunk in, and my final option became clear. I walked up the street and saw a man watering his lawn. I turned to him and said, "Hi. I know I don't know you, but can I use your bathroom?" He replied, "I guess." I went inside, met his wife, and proceeded to desecrate their bathroom with the monstrosity that had been within me. I felt better. I got out of the bathroom and the wife asked me if I was okay, and if I needed some ginger ale, or saltine crackers. I said no thank you and meekly walked back to the car where I waited at least another two hours.